Provabilty in Reality.

There once was a mathematician, whose name escapes me, who came to the realization that for everything that could be proven true, there was something equally true that could not be proven. In other words, there are things out there that are True, but cannot be proven by any known means.

Religion is one of these things. Scientifically, we cannot prove the existence of Gods, spirits, or the supernatural. Yet, many people believe, or know, such things to truly exist. I cannot prove that Thor walks the sky making thunderstorms, but it is True to me.

What makes this situation even more difficult is that even when you can "prove" something, people will say it is not proven. This was one of my issues with the Wild Hunt "news" website. I would say something I knew to be true, because I read a lot on the subject. I would even provide links on occasion. However, my argument was not "Proven" because my sources were considered "invalid." Indeed, be anything resembling a Conservative (which I'm not, honestly) and every argument you make will be invalid there. I once saw someone make an argument there, provide a good half dozen plus links, and be told that their information was invalid because it came from Conservative sources (somehow the Huffington Post became conservative at the time of the linking).

One perfect example that came up over on the Wild Hunt regarding me was my blatant, but unfounded Islamophobia, which I had failed to prove rational. Now, There are dozens, maybe even hundreds of sites out there about Islam and its threat. I even provided links to some of the things I had read, but had them "invalidated" because of "racism." Now, I know racism. I've seen it. So I like to think I have a pretty good idea when something is racist. But such doesn't matter. My sources, despite their documenting literally thousand of bits of information, could not "prove" anything. Heck, the nightly news or mainstream media which talks about how in Islamic countries the vast homophobia, misogyny, religious discrimination, etc that goes on. And if you know how to read the media, you can tell in Western countries when a crime was committed by Islamic Immigrants. But of course nothing can be proven. Members of their religion, who the "mainstream" of Islam cheered and supported, flew planes into buildings, suicide bomb themselves, kill those we would consider innocent, but no. It cannot be proven true.

I'm not going to get into the politics again. I can't "prove" these things to people. In this age of "citations" being an eye witness isn't enough, nor is being well read or informed. And even then, having the "citations" if the other person doesn't accept their legitimacy.

People have let their politics dictate their proof and their truths. They have let "science" and "rationality" dictate what they will believe. They insist things be proven true, but they ignore the existence of truths that cannot be proven. I have my own issues with what is true, and if it can even exists, and this is one of the reasons.

The Times, They Are A Changing...

Or at least, it is I that am changing. Over the last couple of years I traveled in a little circle on the web, seeking to do...something. Even now, I'm not sure what that something was, except maybe to help awaken the promise that was Paganism, to show that it wasn't evil, or political, or to be feared. But, in the end, I found the little peaces of the world I walked in to be unwilling to listen.

The non-pagans, who rightly feared the growth of a major monotheistic religion filled with bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, and intolerance, were already starting to show the tendancy to cling to the other major monotheistic religion, filled with those things. They thought themselves good, and the other evil, and had no patience for one insisting that a gathering of many beliefs, of tolerance, was better than a homoginy too often filled with the vary things they were claiming to fight against.

The Pagans, angry at Christianity, had no patience for one  who spoke of a dangerous force growing, seeking dominion. Nor for one who warned them that they too, were becoming intolerant and political, rather than tolerant and spiritual. The decenter had no place. The darkness, no welcome in their light.

People have accused me of melodrama. I don't see it, but then I came of age watching anime, reading comics, and following the exploited of Harry Dresden over the last few years probably hasn't done anything to change what I learned. But I learned a lot. And being an outsider to society all growing up, I lack the foundations that most people have. I don't have the views, or experiences, of racism that they do, or of politics, or anything else for that matter. I came into a world of conflict, violence, rage, and despair. And unlike those around me, I learned the value of these things, and what they really were. And in looking into its face, I was changed.

Someone close to me says I see the world differently from everyone else. That I can see the things no one else wants to see. That I can look upon the horror unblinkingly, where most must run and hide. Sometimes, I think she is right about that.

I know that from a kids anime I learned to "look underneath, the underneath" and see what was hidden there.

I learned about power, and violence. I learned that these things were not to be feared, no matter what society says.

I learned that "good" often times cannot destroy "evil." That only "evil" can destroy "evil." That everyone is the hero of their own story, even the ones we call "villains." I learned that "evil" is a matter of perspective, that every "evil" action can be morally justified, and often is.

That people are hypocrites, even myself, and will say one thing while behaving another. I've seen the irony of that statement in work too, where people who preached tolerance were intolerant, and in my bigotry I was not bigoted at all.

I learned that truth is what we make true, not what is "true" and that often enough there isn't anything "true" at all.

I know that I know much, and I know that I know nothing. I know that every man who calls himself wise is a fool, and every fool has his wisdom.

I was once the Norse Alchemist. I had dreams of using all I had learned to better those I saw potential in. To work the sacred alchemy with them as I had with myself. But now, now I am no longer certain I am the Norse Alchemist. The Alchemy that succeeded with me fell before the materials before me, that claimed nobility, but in the end proved as base as the rest. Unwilling, to improve, happy with what they were and intent only on becoming it more so, rather than transforming beyond. So, as the Alchemist, the alchemy worked on me, and I change.

I have set aside the title of Norse Alchemist. I do not know if I shall ever pick it up again. For now, I am merely a different sort of person. For now, I shall be the Svartwulf, the black wolf, the predator of the dark. But I will not hunt where once I walked. I will not seek vengeance for my ill treatment. All who wish, who can, are welcome to walk with me, to hunt that which lies in the dark, that makes mortals tremble with fear.

Am I melodramatic? Maybe. But the best characters are always the ones with a bit of ham and cheese between the bread, rather than the white loaves so many wish to be, and are.

Nine Facts About Me

I'm not like others. Everyone says it, but it's true.

I tend to offend people, even when I don't mean too.

I have lived a quarter of a century, I have forgotten more than most people ever learn, and yet I am often treated as if I know nothing at all.

I am not a nice person. I am what the world made me, what my life made me.

I am closer to three gods above all others, Hel, Thor, and Freyja. Death, Sex, and War. I'm sure that says interesting things about me.

I ran away from home at 24 because I finally realized I couldn't forgive the abuse after I drew a hammer on a cookie and realized that my mother's love for Judaism was stronger than her love for me or her tolerance of my Heathenism, even though she isn't Jewish.

I hate the God of Abraham, Jesus, and Mohammed. I hate what he has done to this world, what his ideology has done, and what his followers have done. I have fought his street preachers face to face with words when they preached their venom. I grow wary when I see a Muslim, not just because of what their "extremists" did with planes and bombs, but because I know what the "moderates" do to people like me that practice magic and worship Heathen Gods in their native lands.

I grow tired of how many of my fellow Pagans treat each other. I think we have enough enemies out there, we don't need to beat each other up to conform to what some people think is "normal" or "mainstream" or "acceptable." We are supposed to be accepting of each other, no matter how abhorrent society finds us, because it's what is right to do in our eyes.

I don't think Pagans and Heathens will ever be accepted into the "mainstream." The Monotheists will always think we worship false gods and the Atheists will always laugh at everyone with an "imaginary friend." I don't think we became Pagans and Heathens to be mainstream anyways. I think we did it to buck the mainstream, so we should embrace that.

Hope

Hope is one of those emotions that can't really be quantified. One cannot describe the feeling of hope, because like so many other feelings, it has to be felt.

As I write this, I have currently been engaging with various peoples about beliefs. They seek to fight off one totalitarian belief system, Islam, while claiming the best way to do this is by returning to a strong Christian belief system. One, that often times, seems rather totalitarian itself. I pointed this out, and got told to lay off the Christian bashing and that my magic minded viking ways were gone with no hopes of revival.

I could smile. I did, in fact. Because I think all those out there that call themselves Heathen, from the coasts of Cali to the edges of Eastern Europe, from Texas to Scandinavia, would disagree. We have the hope of revival, because we are that revival. So long as one person believes, the old ways live on and can come back.

So, my Heathen Kin, remember, should anyone ever tell you that our ways are gone without hope of ever coming back, remember this: If you believe, they are already here.