I've Moved

All things considered, blogger's been pretty okay, but I felt like a change.

So I can be found now at http://aheathenspath.wordpress.com/

I'll be transferring my posts from this site over to there here in the next few days. In the meantime, there's already some posts up, so enjoy.

Eleventh Day of Yule, 2011

The eleventh day of Yule is here. Not really a lot to say, at the moment. I've got a new project coming up which I'll unveil at start of the new year. Which, frankly, is coming up faster than one would have thought.

Anyways, last night's offering was french fries. Perhaps not the most respectful of food (though I'll let you know if anyone votes for or against from the Godly side, if they tell me) but after giving an entire dozen donuts, I had french fries in abundance and figured I'd share and give some salty rather than sweet.

Anyways, here's the pic from last night:

Yes, the Yule log is getting pretty crowded at this point. We'll see what it looks like on night twelve.

And here are the gifts:
Eleven Horns a Sounding,
Ten Vikings Pillaging,
Nine Worlds of Lore,
Eight Maidens dancing,
Seven Alfs a leaping,
Six Horns of Mead,
Five Golden Rings! (Maybe next year...)
Four Runes Inscribing,
Three Days of Kinship,
Two Goats of Thor,
And a Raven in a Yew Tree

Sixth Day of Yule, 2011

Alright, day six is here to greet us.

Note to bloggers out there, making these posts the night before will have the side effect of making it very hard to remember what day you're actually on. You're thinking it's the sixth day, but there's only five candles and you're having to remind yourself just where you're at.

Anyways, last night's offering was Oliver's Camelot Mead again, just as it was on the first night. Hopefully there will be enough mead left for the Ninth and Twelfth nights as well. If not, I have some "Apothic Red" wine that I'm told is very good, though personally while I like the bottle (it's red and black and made me think of Alchemy when I first found it) I can't say I like the taste. I'm really picky when it comes to booze, and flavors. So far, the Camelot Mead is about the only one I can really stand drinking. But oh well, I'm not getting paid to be a wine critic or to sell this stuff, so moving on.

Here's the pick of last night, where you can see the offerings in their glasses before Hel, Thor, and Freyja.

Hopefully the computer issues that kept me out the last couple days are fixed, and I won't have that problem again. If I do, well, we'll see how it gets handled.

Also, today is the 24th and Christmas! So set out those milk and cookies people.  Santa might be a "Christian" guy, but some of his aspects can be traced back to Odin, and he is a jolly old elf/alf indeed. So be good, boys and girls, and perhaps he shall bring you a present, and if not, at least you made this holiday just a little more Pagan. And have a merry Yule, Saturnalia, or what have you

Anyways, the gifts:

Six Horns of Mead,
Five Golden Rings! (I wish)
Four Runes Inscribing,
Three Days of Kinship,
Two Goats of Thor,
And a Raven in a Yew Tree.

Forth Day of Yul, 2011

So today is the fourth day of Yule. Unlike McNallen over at Asatru Update, I'm not celebrating any values or anything. Last night was simple. Light the candle and the electrics, place a offering of Krispy Kream donuts, and that was about it.

Yule is about the solstice, but it is also about family. Sadly, my family isn't Heathen like me, and they've all got their own lives, have no interest, don't know me, or in at least once case, are actively mad at me (even if they would deny it). So I'm just one more solitary Heathen with no budget. I don't know if any others actually are reading these as I post, or if they will come across it in the years, to come, but I hope that I am able to offer some measure of comfort and kinship on these days of Yule. We might be alone in person, but we are not alone in spirit.

Here's the pic of the Yule log from last night:

I took some model paint I have for DnD minis and painted Yule in Runes. At some point, I'll probably take some sand paper to the log, and either a knife or a wood burning tool and decorate it. With any luck, I may have this Yule log for many years, and I want to make it special.

And here's the present:

Four Runes Inscribing,
Three Days of Kinship,
Two Goats of Thor,
And a Raven in a Yew Tree.

The Times, They Are A Changing...

Or at least, it is I that am changing. Over the last couple of years I traveled in a little circle on the web, seeking to do...something. Even now, I'm not sure what that something was, except maybe to help awaken the promise that was Paganism, to show that it wasn't evil, or political, or to be feared. But, in the end, I found the little peaces of the world I walked in to be unwilling to listen.

The non-pagans, who rightly feared the growth of a major monotheistic religion filled with bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, and intolerance, were already starting to show the tendancy to cling to the other major monotheistic religion, filled with those things. They thought themselves good, and the other evil, and had no patience for one insisting that a gathering of many beliefs, of tolerance, was better than a homoginy too often filled with the vary things they were claiming to fight against.

The Pagans, angry at Christianity, had no patience for one  who spoke of a dangerous force growing, seeking dominion. Nor for one who warned them that they too, were becoming intolerant and political, rather than tolerant and spiritual. The decenter had no place. The darkness, no welcome in their light.

People have accused me of melodrama. I don't see it, but then I came of age watching anime, reading comics, and following the exploited of Harry Dresden over the last few years probably hasn't done anything to change what I learned. But I learned a lot. And being an outsider to society all growing up, I lack the foundations that most people have. I don't have the views, or experiences, of racism that they do, or of politics, or anything else for that matter. I came into a world of conflict, violence, rage, and despair. And unlike those around me, I learned the value of these things, and what they really were. And in looking into its face, I was changed.

Someone close to me says I see the world differently from everyone else. That I can see the things no one else wants to see. That I can look upon the horror unblinkingly, where most must run and hide. Sometimes, I think she is right about that.

I know that from a kids anime I learned to "look underneath, the underneath" and see what was hidden there.

I learned about power, and violence. I learned that these things were not to be feared, no matter what society says.

I learned that "good" often times cannot destroy "evil." That only "evil" can destroy "evil." That everyone is the hero of their own story, even the ones we call "villains." I learned that "evil" is a matter of perspective, that every "evil" action can be morally justified, and often is.

That people are hypocrites, even myself, and will say one thing while behaving another. I've seen the irony of that statement in work too, where people who preached tolerance were intolerant, and in my bigotry I was not bigoted at all.

I learned that truth is what we make true, not what is "true" and that often enough there isn't anything "true" at all.

I know that I know much, and I know that I know nothing. I know that every man who calls himself wise is a fool, and every fool has his wisdom.

I was once the Norse Alchemist. I had dreams of using all I had learned to better those I saw potential in. To work the sacred alchemy with them as I had with myself. But now, now I am no longer certain I am the Norse Alchemist. The Alchemy that succeeded with me fell before the materials before me, that claimed nobility, but in the end proved as base as the rest. Unwilling, to improve, happy with what they were and intent only on becoming it more so, rather than transforming beyond. So, as the Alchemist, the alchemy worked on me, and I change.

I have set aside the title of Norse Alchemist. I do not know if I shall ever pick it up again. For now, I am merely a different sort of person. For now, I shall be the Svartwulf, the black wolf, the predator of the dark. But I will not hunt where once I walked. I will not seek vengeance for my ill treatment. All who wish, who can, are welcome to walk with me, to hunt that which lies in the dark, that makes mortals tremble with fear.

Am I melodramatic? Maybe. But the best characters are always the ones with a bit of ham and cheese between the bread, rather than the white loaves so many wish to be, and are.

Nine Facts About Me

I'm not like others. Everyone says it, but it's true.

I tend to offend people, even when I don't mean too.

I have lived a quarter of a century, I have forgotten more than most people ever learn, and yet I am often treated as if I know nothing at all.

I am not a nice person. I am what the world made me, what my life made me.

I am closer to three gods above all others, Hel, Thor, and Freyja. Death, Sex, and War. I'm sure that says interesting things about me.

I ran away from home at 24 because I finally realized I couldn't forgive the abuse after I drew a hammer on a cookie and realized that my mother's love for Judaism was stronger than her love for me or her tolerance of my Heathenism, even though she isn't Jewish.

I hate the God of Abraham, Jesus, and Mohammed. I hate what he has done to this world, what his ideology has done, and what his followers have done. I have fought his street preachers face to face with words when they preached their venom. I grow wary when I see a Muslim, not just because of what their "extremists" did with planes and bombs, but because I know what the "moderates" do to people like me that practice magic and worship Heathen Gods in their native lands.

I grow tired of how many of my fellow Pagans treat each other. I think we have enough enemies out there, we don't need to beat each other up to conform to what some people think is "normal" or "mainstream" or "acceptable." We are supposed to be accepting of each other, no matter how abhorrent society finds us, because it's what is right to do in our eyes.

I don't think Pagans and Heathens will ever be accepted into the "mainstream." The Monotheists will always think we worship false gods and the Atheists will always laugh at everyone with an "imaginary friend." I don't think we became Pagans and Heathens to be mainstream anyways. I think we did it to buck the mainstream, so we should embrace that.